la pura verita

It sounds like someone’s in my attic. 

I’m going to cry.

I’m not even joking. He had the body, the face, the hair; even the accent. It completely made my day, you don’t even know!

Kentucky is now my first name.

Just kidding someone changed it back ):

The fact that I finished my pack this morning and that I’m genuinely upset about it, is pathetic

.

peppermintuniverse:

dearkilljoys:

• what are you doing?
• why would you use internet explorer
• oh my god you type so slow
• let me type
• no you spelled it wrong
• you dont need to double click on that, dumbass.
• don’t you even know your own password?
• caps lock is on, moron.
• why would you click on the zwinky ad ohmygod.
• SCROLL DOWN
• i wish i were dead
• HURRY UP
• ……….
• get the fuck out of your chair and let me do it !

LMAO ‘I wish I were dead’ .

minirosa:

Realizing you’re home alone:

Blasting out music full volume:

Eating junk food:

Someone knocks on the door:

Hear a noise up/downstairs:

Get a weapon ready:

Turns out it was a cat:

Someone comes home earlier than expected:

I had to go into school early to take a test. I ended up missing the beginning of homeroom, but the teacher said she had told my homeroom teacher.

So I get back to homeroom with five minutes to spare. First period goes by fine, second period goes by fine…

Then locker break and I get about 5 texts from my mom questioning where I am, who I’m with, and threatening to call the cops, followed by a phone call.

BASICALLY, my teacher never told my homeroom teacher I’d be late. I got marked absent. The school called my house, asked why I was absent, and my mom flipped out.

So then she called the school, I got called to the office, and everything was cleared up. It was still pretty insane though.

omegleshit:

It’s a really cool number. You’ve probably never heard of it.

Now have ten bug bites.